Sunday, April 7, 2013

Review: The Collector- Victoria Scott

“You don’t know who you’re fucking with, princess. Ain’t no one do bad like I do.”

Dante Walker is flippin’ awesome, and he knows it. His good looks, killer charm, and stellar confidence have made him one of Hell’s best—a soul collector. His job is simple: weed through humanity and label those round rears with a big redgood or bad stamp. Old Saint Nick gets the good guys, and he gets the fun ones. Bag-and-tag. Sealing souls is nothing personal. Dante’s an equal-opportunity collector and doesn’t want it any other way. But he’ll have to adjust, because Boss Man has given him a new assignment: Collect Charlie Cooper’s soul within ten days. Dante doesn’t know why Boss Man wants Charlie, nor does he care. This assignment means only one thing to him, and that’s a permanent ticket out of Hell. But after Dante meets the quirky Nerd Alert chick he’s come to collect, he realizes this assignment will test his abilities as a collector…and uncover emotions deeply buried.

When I read that very intriguing blurb and started reading the book I was like-

.....As I finished reading it, that changed to this-

Turns out that Dante wasn't as 'flippin' awesome' as the synopsis suggested...

Dante Walker's POV was undoubtedly hilarious to read. He's cocky, arrogant and thinks that he's God's...ahem...the devil's gift to mankind. His initial reaction to Charlie was quite funny.

This is the girl Boss Man is after? She looks like a porcelain doll...beat three times with an ugly stick. 

He is the kind of guy whose obnoxious behaviour borders on 'jerk' most of the time and he can insult someone and drop a flirtatious comment in the same sentence, but his reaction to most people and things makes the reader snort with laughter throughout the book.

That girl got in my brain and dug around. She found the one morsel of good
in there, held it up to the light, and said, “See here? See this? Look how sparkly! Let’s make it grow.”

At the end of the walkway is a cat. It struts with arrogance. You’d think it just won the Nobel Prize. But it didn’t. Know why? Because it’s a freakin’ cat. In case you missed the memo, I. Hate. Cats. I loathe them. They’re built with creepy little teeth and finger blades. I don’t know about you, but I’ll pass on that freak show.

 The book started off beautifully. There was Dante, in all his badass glory sealing the soul of some a-hole creeper and damn well enjoying it. Things start to go downhill for the guy when Boss Man offers him promotion to the post of the Soul Director and permanent abode on earth in exchange for Charlie's soul. With his too-good-to-be-true looks and charming personality how difficult could it be to corrupt a teenage girl, eh? At least that's what he thought until he meets her.

Charlie's character was made exasperatingly....nice! She was literally Mother Teresa reincarnated (bless her pure soul..). A childhood tragedy which left her orphaned has altered her view of the world and she sees life as pink balloons and hearts bursting with joy. She is not beautiful-a fact that has been emphasised on so many times throughout the book, it made me scream out "just get on with it already! The chick's freaking ugly...we get it!!"- but the beauty of her soul makes her least that's what the gist of the story was. The book was alarmingly cliche inspite of a synopsis that promised awesomeness. Bad boy meets good girl, falls in love, turns over a new leaf, fights off the bad guys...

One redeeming thing about the book was the friendship between Charlie and her friends. They accept her for who she is and stick together in crisis. Dante's progressive relationship with Charlie was also quite believable and things didn't seem rushed, although it later seemed incredible that everything happened in a period of a few days. The ending however was a bit of a let down. A barely-there character who had a blink-and-miss appearance was brought back and made into the villain. Maybe the author was aiming for the shock factor but it just didn't seem very convincing...

Thirdly- Boss Man and Big Guy?!!- That was pretty amateurish. I mean since we are talking about God and Underworld here, they deserve some chilling names! Dante's transformation from a hilarious hottie into a whipped-for-the-pure-souled-chick guy didn't win many points from me either. 

Overall a one time read. Dante's smartass demeanour and witty one liners would have you in splits and Charlie's irritating over-the-top goodness would make you want to puke. Not a combination that would produce fireworks...

2/5 stars!

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